The countries capital craft beer scene is booming.
A raw and unfiltered look at craft beer Pretoria, exploring its growth, unique flavours, and the culture shaping this bold local brewing movement.
The countries capital craft beer scene is booming.
With almost 2 independent pubs and bars now off the SAB tit, the doors are wide open to a revolution.
Here is a random SEO article so that our website (and brand), Beerzke, ranks higher in Google search for craft beer in Pretoria. It really doesn’t mean much more than that, in fact we may have used a computer to write half of this. This industry has no rules, so let’s go.
Craft beer is a term used to describe beer that is made by smaller, independently owned breweries, aka ADHD medicated folk with beards and probably a vintage motorbike on the books. These breweries typically produce a limited amount of beer as they can’t be bothered to work more than 5 hours a day before early afternoon paddle with the boys. Making use of traditional brewing methods because they can’t afford to redeem their bitcoin at the current valuation to buy high-quality machinery.
Ingredients are hand plucked from the local Saturday market with the wife in tow and a smug kid who’s future ability to elevate his current “solid shift” public school matric education, to a tertiary one, relies entirely on the success of alcoholics and craft beer sales.
Bespoke flavor profiles to differentiate each pop up brewery from larger, commercial, breweries are the reason we get grapefruit and kiwi flavoured beers, as all brands in the market strive to be as unique as possible to showcase just how cool and different they are in the growing trend to all look the same. Fight the power.
Welcome to Flavourtown!
Craft beer is typically known for its wider range of flavours, styles and generally unapproachable tattooed brewers and intensely stoic social media marketing campaigns. Always more expensive than the larger beer companies more familiar brews, our estimate on the history of this fad is at some point a pot smoking bearded lumberjack just went and said “you know what, fuck the convenience of buying beer, I’d rather spend ages in my garage listening to ACDC and Mumford & Sons whilst avoiding my wife and kids so that I can enjoy a beer that tastes like agriculture”.
We are not sure at what point the decision was made to make friends and family swear blind loyalty to shit beer, but we can safely assume it was probably around this time.
Some of the most popular styles include:
- IPAs (India Pale Ales): known for their strong hop flavor and high alcohol content – Where the fuck India comes from who knows and these beers are never pale.
- Porters and stouts: known for their dark color and rich, roasted malt flavor – Guinness did it first…and better.
- Saisons: a Belgian-style beer known for its fruity and spicy flavor -The Belgians…waffles, chocolates that thing with kids and beer.
- Sour beers: known for their tart and tangy flavor – these are shite.
Craft beer is usually sold in dark, sediment hiding bottles or cans. Out of the trunk of a car at flea markets, under shade netting and via online stores. You’ll find them in your local bottle store at insane prices but with cool branding so that we, as the consumer, attach a higher value to a beer made in giant plastic containers sitting in the corner of someone’s moldy garage.
A special thank you to craft beer in general for propping up the branding and design industry for years in their quest to boldly evolve mass appreciated logo design that includes two thin arrows, a silhouette of a man with a beard and possibly something rustic in nature like flat design mountains in the background. Bespoke Art indeed, akin to the two interlocking cleavers found on every butchery logo designers on Fiverr has ever been asked to deliver.
When found at bars or pubs, craft beer in Pretoria is usually accompanied with the delightfully enthusiastic sales pitch of “This is limited edition from a boutique brewer in Kuruman who has won an award only true craft beverage connoisseur’s follow, you sure you got the stones to enjoy this compadre?”
Some wealthier craft breweries are more into lifestyle in their brand and have taprooms or brewpubs, oft located off the beaten track where someone might ask you to squeal like a pig. This is where customers can not only taste, but also purchase their beer directly from the failed chefs, insurance brokers and finance managers who are trying to make a fresh career out of it.
If you are lucky enough, you can spot the long suffering wife in the corner grappling a new born whilst tasked to work on the latest advertising campaign, as she once interned at an advertising agency in the copywriting department fetching dry cleaning for her boss.
You have to appreciate a team effort.
We tried to crop out the beer.
It’s Growing
The craft beer industry is a rapidly growing market, much like a fungus, why it is growing and how to stop it are questions that probably do have answers, but we don’t really have the energy to find them. Because the male ego is such an incredibly powerful motivator, and other alcohols are too time consuming to make, this should go on for a while. Or at least until each of these independent, damn the man, entrepreneurs sell out to the big guy and retire to bustling Hermanus with their chommies and Woolworths packaged wives – road bike in tow.
With new breweries and brands opening up across the world and in our little mini Texas red state of Pretoria. This growth has led to an increased demand for craft beer (oh my kingdom for a Castle Lite) that is rarely enjoyable and oft headache inducing. Consumers have shown they are indeed willing to pay a premium for “high-quality”, uniquely flavourful beers, and these hip cats are to thank for every sip you don’t enjoy and financially regret. As we always say, start with a craft beer, end with anything else.
Nobody that works with Beerzke looks anything like this. Our middle aged hipster team is far more bald, less stylish and doesn’t own any flannel.
